We all like video games. We may even love them.

You may find me sitting in a hunched over position some weekend playing 14 hours of TimeSplitters with friends. It’s the kind of video game experience that makes you feel drunk when you go outside. “Get that damn light out of my face,” we yell, but the sun won’t listen.

Our thumbs and backs hurt like crazy. We know the reason. We just sat on our asses for 14 hours and played video games. Of course they hurt. We gingerly nurse our wounds over the next couple of days. We play trace amounts of GBA like an accident victim learning to walk again.

Eventually we get better. We are ready to resume our life of moderate video game playing.

Then there is little Jordan “My Thumbs Get a Little Sore” Maxwell from Canada. I see playing video games got him a little article in Canada. That’s neat.

Where do you get the time to play 7 hours of video games a day, Jordan? Maybe the children of Canada don’t go to school. I mean, all their mothers are mounties after all. It’s a good thing his mother left that gentle bear to look after little Jordan. But the bear needs to discipline little Jordan.

“No,” the charming bear would state. “No, you may not play video games for 7 hours. You have school work to do and honey to feed me.”

But this bear is not charming. Mores the pity.

What’s that? Mommy isn’t a mountie? She’s a physiotherapist? Why the hell is she letting you play so many video games? She should know better! It’s her profession!

Is poor Jordan a little experiment for Mommy? Is mommy trying to get a grant? Something smells funny in the upper regions of North America. Let us all pray that Canada has some form of social services.