UMDs. Let’s talk about them. Watching movies on the PSP is fantastic. There is something about that tiny screen that makes the movies seem so crisp and clean. The colors so bright and vibrant. The widescreen so perfect.

Would anyone pay more than $5 for a UMD? I guess so. Would I pay $30 for Kill Bill when I could get it for $15 on DVD? No. No I would not. Why would you ask me that? That’s ridiculous!

But people are buying UMDs. I want to shake them hard. “Do you see what you’ve done,” I would scream at them. I will rub their nose in a UMD copy of Daddy Day Care. “First off, you made this thing exists. Second off, you made it cost $15,” I’d explain to them in my loudest outside voice possible.

The PSP is a fantastic system and I love that movies are available for it. These prices are outrageous though! I’m not getting 5.1 surround sound. I’m not getting a high definition display. So why would I pay Best Buy in gold bricks for a UMD of a move I already own?

This is about supply and demand. We can’t take this crap! We can’t go out and buy just anything! Think of your fellow PSP owners! If we all hold out, they won’t be able to charge these outrageous prices.

If I had to take a guess, I’d imagine that the people buying these UMDs are the same people that buy games without reading the reviews. “Suckers” as I’ve come to call them. If I was a carnival worked, I might call them a “rube.” I am not a carnival worker.

They buy Simpsons Skateboarding because of the title, lap up every fighting game even though the controls sucks, and purchase Daddy Day Care for $15 so they can watch it as they fall asleep on their waterbed.

This is a call to action. If you see someone at a store picking up a UMD, slap it out of their hands. Their grip may be tight, so you might need to give their wrists a little karate chop. Don’t feel bad, it’s for their own good. You’re doing them a service. Hell, you’re doing a service to the country. And if you need to, search their home without a warrant. For America. Tie them to a tree, collect their UMDs, and make them watch as you burn them one by one. It may be harsh, but they’ll understand in time. It’s all about the greater good. You are a good person.