This morning I finished Haunting Ground, a new survival horror game from Capcom. What can I say… I am going to make up a classification of a B video game - like B movie or a B side for music. Haunting Ground was, a B video game.

You play as Fiona, a sole survivor of a car accident that wakes up in a creepy castle only to be chased by whacked out pervos who want to get into her womb. I can’t remember the line verbatim, but something to the tune of ‘why won’t you let me into your womb?’ was yelled by one of Fiona’s adversaries. Classy. One of the first cut scenes in the game is of Fiona changing out of a flowy satin sheet into some sort of biermadchen/schoolgirl outfit and some jackass watching her do so from behind a painting. Throughout the game Fiona evades various latent sexual predators; Debilitas, a gropey mutated version of the lovable Sloth from the Goonies, Daniella, an emotionless, soulless dominatrix housekeeper and Riccardo and Lorenzo the two virile masculine men that have Fiona’s ‘Azoth ‘on their mind and make the game feel like it is going to break into some fetish porno at any moment.

Fiona is being chased by this group of predators and isn’t very brave or good at defending herself, in fact, if her adversaries attack her, she can fall into a panic where the character is uncontrollable and bumps into things, falls down and cowers (much like Clock Tower 3, well, EXACTLY like Clock Tower 3). Fiona isn’t totally defenseless, she does have a few crap weapons that are virtually useless, so she relies on her friend, Hewie, a white German Shepard to do most of the damage to her sleazy foes.

I liked the idea that the dog could attack and help (was it the same mysterious white dog that helped out in RE4? Nerd. Nerd. Nerd. If anyone knows this let me know!), I actually wanted to play as Hewie the dog instead of Fiona. When I finished the game today, I unlocked a bonus game where you get to be the dog, which was a fun surprise. The puzzles, castle layout, and graphics were great, and all of the pervy lasciviousness aside, Haunting Ground was decent.

I, unfortunately, lost interest about 2/3 of the way through the game. I guess getting chased and hiding from sexual predators flat out got old. Which is yet another difference between video games and public transit.

(rimshot)

If you are a fan of Clock Tower 3 or the survival horror genre at all, check it out, but rent it.