Tuesday isn’t really a release day for video games. Sure, officially it is. Just don’t go looking for this week’s latest and greatest on a Tuesday. You’ll have to wait until at least Wednesday or Thursday to get your mitts on new releases.

Understanding this, I still went out to a couple GameStops to looks for Shadow of the Colossus and Stubbs the Zombie. Both games missing in action, as I assumed.

Asking about games at GameStop is like opening a door with police tape across it. You know you’re not going to like what you find behind it.

First let’s talk about a little stepping stone I have. I hate talking to store employees. Any store employees. When I ask for something it feels like I’m bugging them. Yes yes, it’s their job to assist the customer. This is my issue. Let’s drop it.

I finally work up the gumption to open the door into the GameStop employees mind. Stubbs the Zombie doesn’t even warrant an answer from them. It’s passed over as if I mentioned that I smelled a gas leak. No one seems to have a clue.

Said GameStop employees are more than happy to let me know Shadow of the Colossus will be available tomorrow. And that I had better pre-order it if I wanted a copy.

I’m sorry? I have to pre-order a game if I want it? Excuse me, Wikipedia. What do you have to say on supply and demand. Ahhh, I see. You say that GameStop is stupid. Just as I thought.

Hold up now. What is that you’re saying, you gamemonger? There’s more? If I pre-order Shadow of the Colossus, I get a demo of the game right now? A whole one day before the game comes out? What a scoop! That’s quite the incentive you offered to me. That makes this pre-ordering nonsense smell like a bed of daises!

No. No it doesn’t. It stinks to high heaven. Not just regular heaven. The higher one. Stink needs to be strong to get up there. Like cabbage rotting in the nose of a pig who is buried in a pile of burning human hair.

There is nothing right about this pre-order business. If you don’t want my money, you should put up a sign out front stating this. “Monies not welcome.” Then I wouldn’t be disappointed when I tried to give you my cash. Don’t crush my hopes of getting rid of my money! It’s such a burden. Let me unburden my load, GameStop!

Coming up next, will I cancel my Xbox 360 pre-order? It’s seeming more and more likely.