You will believe Pac-Man can talk. That is, if you buy Pac-Man World 3. Like the past two Pac-Man World games, I’ll leave this game to collect dust on other people’s shelves.

Oh yeah, back to the point. In Pac-Man World 3, Pac-Man will have a voice. Yep, the yellow fatty will actually talk. Here is some information on the wonderful things Pac-Man will say:

With his newly discovered voice, Pac-Man will talk throughout the new title; he will provide helpful back-story information, as well as interact with the other characters.

The only backstory should only come from vaudevillian cut scenes every 3rd level. The only character interaction should be when ghosts are eaten.

Alas, science seems to have repaired Pac-Man’s vocal chords. No longer will Pac-Man have to rely on sign language.

Maybe Pac-Man can talk about his feelings and how his father never hugged him.

It’s not like Pac-Man talking is new. Pac-Man did talk in that 80s TV show he had. Don’t remember the 80s TV show? Here’s some info from IMDB.com:

Each episode followed the same basic plot, with little variation: Pac-Man and his family would be menaced by the ghosts until, just when things were looking grim, one of the Pac-family would chomp some power pills and save the day.

Wow, if the new game is half as good as the 80s cartoon, we’ll have nothing to worry about!

What’s that? Too much internet sarcasm? Let’s see if I can’t end on a honest to goodness happy note.

At least we only have to wait until November to honor Pac-Man’s 25th anniversary with this wonderful game.

No, that was sarcastic too. I give up.