It’s time to reveal a secret. I am the voice of the educational game Jigsaw USA from eGames. Whew, that’s a load off. It feels good to get that off my chest.

Jigsaw USA is an educational game where you match up different things about different states. Their capitals, birds, mottos, and more. Imagine me in my parent’s computer room with a computer store $15 boom mic recording all of these words over and over again in a surfer voice. I bet you wish you were a fly on the wall at those recording sessions.

Considering the poor recording conditions, it all sounds pretty good. Except for the birds. The birds sound really weird. It is kind of amusing hearing a surfer say “Willow Ptarmigan.”

The saddest part of the whole affair is I didn’t learn a thing. Heck, I’m not sure where Tennessee is. Spell check even had to correct me on the spelling of Tennessee. I might have gotten stupider, in fact.

If you would like to learn from my mistakes, and listen to some lo-fi audio of your state capitals, head on over to eGames and make your desires come true.

But you probably shouldn’t.