Like a heavy weight boxer lying unconscious on the canvas…wait. I hate sports analogies. Ahem. Like a butterfly who has stopped their futile struggle against the spider’s web…yes, that’s better. Like that, I have given up hope of getting an Xbox 360 before xmas. It has been 30 sexy days since the launch of the Xbox 360, and the delightful obelisk of plastic and metal is nowhere to be seen.

The Xbox 360 is like the hot girl at the dance who is perpetually waiting for her boyfriend. She’s right there, but she won’t dance with anybody. We all the that Xbox 360 is out there, but where is it’s boyfriend? I don’t see them anywhere. I think they’re lying. Why would they show up at the dance just to tease us?

Maybe Microsoft is putting on an interactive Morality Play. Perhaps they are trying to teach us the follies of greed and desire. The evils of consumerism. And you thought their I Love Bees campaign was interactive. We don’t even know we’re playing into Microsoft’s hands this time. Bravo, Bill Gates. Kudos to you and your staff.

Okay, maybe Microsoft isn’t trying to teach us a biblical lesson. After all, why would the devil try to push morality on anyone. Hahaha, zing! See what I did there? I called Microsoft the devil. What a well thought out jab! Just the thing to put on a t-shirt for idiots to buy.

I’m fed up and tired of waiting. Microsoft and GameStop have both worn me out. In a never ending marathon, I’m crawling into gutter and waiting for the finish line to come to me. I’m staying put. Take your time in getting me my Xbox 360, as I no longer have any hopes of getting it by xmas.

You never know, my downtrodden attitude may lead to a holiday miracle. Damn it, I’m still hopeful! Where did that come from? I can’t even lie to myself. I’m a mouse who has jumped into your open mouth, Microsoft. Do with me what you will.