Classic Tuesday - Dungeons and Dragons: Tower of Doom
Posted on 12.13.05 by Maxim @ 7:00 am

ClackyJ, A 47 Danger, and myself played through the arcade game Dungeons and Dragons: Tower of Doom this weekend. Arcade game? I know.

It’s your standard side scrolling hack n’ slash fare, except all dungeoneny and dragony! Wait… don’t remember a dungeon of any kind. I’ve been scammed! I guess the giant dragon makes up for the loss.

Anyway, D&D is like any of the thousands of Final Fight clones out there with one notable difference: Inventory! Yes, much like the pen and paper D&D, there is loot to be had. Loot will appear when vanquishing a foe, finding a chest, or simply stumbling across it while walking from left to right. This feature of the game makes it feel like a game of Legend of Zelda: Four Swords. In what way, you ask? Well in LoZ:FS, the importance of tasks looks a little like this:

1. Acquire loot.
2. Make sure no one else acquires loot.
3. Make fellow players lose loot.
4. Acquire fellow players’ recently lost loot.
5. Try to get fellow players killed.
6. Work together to move the game forward.

The gameplay in D&D is surprisingly similar.

There’s lots of fun stuff to do like set fellow players on fire, make fellow players open trapped chests, and cast “sticks to snakes” as much as possible. There’s a certain satisfaction derived from casting sticks to snakes over and over while fighting a giant red dragon. (FYI, sticks to snakes is exactly what it sounds like, and is worthless).

To sum up: D&D:ToD is fun for reasons the creators of the game probably didn’t intend. Those reasons are: to screw your friends.


Filed under: Classic and General and Maxim and Review
Comments: 3 Comments

Cashing my chips
Posted on 12.12.05 by beuks @ 1:02 am

I first played Final Fantasy VII in 1997 on my friend’s Playstation. I admired its atmosphere: the typically fine (if sometimes overburdened) Nobuo Uematsu score; the gorgeous prerendered backgrounds; the attractive adaptation of the Final Fantasy battle system to 3d. When the game was released for Windows PC the following year, I bought it. I played on and off over the summer of 1998, and then shelved the game during the school year. This became a typical pattern: brief flurries of progress, spaced out over months or even years.

Here are some fun facts about my tenure playing FFVII:

  • - To use the word tenure is appropriate.
  • - I didn’t finish the first disc until the summer of 2001, 4 years after starting the game.
  • - I’ve played the game on five computers: four of my own and, during one winter break, one of my parents’.
  • - In that time, I earned a Bachelor’s and a Master’s Degree, completed a five-level course in improvisation, have played a Nazi, a hapless Polish exchange student and Bill Pullman on stage, designed the structures of a dozen Target stores, two ethanol plants and a roof for a grain terminal, wrote computer code to model the response of a gamma ray telescope, and researched the cause of inaccuracy in a simple analytical method to assess the distortional fatigue in steel highway bridge girders (it was the cross-braces).

One thing I haven’t done in the past 8 years is finish the damn game. At the beginning of 2005, I made a New Year’s resolution: to finish Final Fantasy VII before the year was out. Last night, I decided to call it off. I will not finish the game, or play any more of it.

The thing is, it’s a deeply flawed game. The gameplay is just fine. I like fighting monsters, gathering equipment, managing a party of warriors. But the gameplay is increasingly spread out between ponderous stretches of PLOT. The story also has potential interest. But the delivery is abysmal. Scenes of plot or character development are presented in a combination of nicely-rendered, 30-second full motion videos (of the kind that was used to foist the game on the public in TV ads) and tone-deaf, emotionless, in-game scenes, such as the “moving” death of Aeris, pictured above. The former are pretty but feel out of place, seeing as they account for about 1% of game time. The latter are like watching Lego people try to emote, which gets especially tricky when it’s not always clear which one of them is supposed to be talking, and their lines are poorly translated from the original Japanese.

The in-game scenes are further hampered by a total lack of change in the music. The same midi tune that accompanied your 20-minute wanderings in a given cave will also accompany the 20-minute scene — and all its dramatic turns — at the end of the cave. These bits that are supposed to keep you going through the hundreds of random battles, minigames, and Chocobo breeding stints spread over a hundred hours? No, thank you.

As previously mentioned, I don’t dislike console RPG mechanics, or the Final Fantasy series. I don’t even have a problem with long scenes between gameplay. I just prefer it to be in a game capable of making me care. Maxim hates the Metal Gear Solid series for this reason, but I enjoy it, because at least I can perceive dramatic highs and lows in those scenes. I also give a pass to Final Fantasy IV, because when I first played it, I was 14, and by the time I went back to play it, they had fixed the translation.

So, it’s been a long time coming, but I have finally decided to stop my quixotic and poorly-paced quest to complete Final Fantasy VII. I feel as though a load has been lifted, which will allow me to refocus my energy on more important goals.

Like Final Fantasy Tactics.


Filed under: Beuks and Classic and General and PC and Review
Comments: 5 Comments

Sans 360:Day 18
Posted on 12.09.05 by A 47 Danger @ 3:11 pm

Dear Xbox 360,

There’s a hole in my heart in the shape of you.

Did I come on too strong? Did I scare you off? It’s true, I am very eager to meet you. Please don’t mistake that as desperation. I feel that we could share a mutual admiration for each other. Maybe not right away, but with time.

You may be asking yourself if you’re ready for a big step. I want you to know that you will receive no preassure from me. Maybe you can come over and we can just talk. If you feel comfortable, we can certainly move on to the next level. Hopefully you’ll open up to me and trust me. We might even play together.

But this is all on your terms. There is no pressure. If you want to just watch tv on my couch, that’s perfectly fine.

I’m just trying to say that I’m flexible and no threat to you. So, how about it? Give me a chance.

Respectfully yours,
A 47 Danger


Filed under: A 47 Danger and Humor and Xbox 360
Comments: 2 Comments

A Casual Conversation Between A 47 Danger and Maxim
Posted on 12.09.05 by A 47 Danger @ 10:05 am

47: Hey there, Maxim. Let’s have a casual conversation about video games.
MX: well all right then A 47 Danger. lets
47: I find video games to be fun and entertaining. What are your feelings?
MX: i disagree! i find them to be morally reprehensible and decadent!
47: Let us try and resolve this conflict. Give me an example of something that you find agreeable.
MX: i find reading books and respecting my elders to be agreeable
47: Then perhaps you would find a game like Call of Cthulhu, based on the works of H.P. Lovecraft right up your ally.
MX: the works of h.p. lovecraft are violent and suggest to children that its ok to look into the mouth of madness and worship elder gods
47: Maybe a game like Bionic Granny would be more to your liking.
MX: bionic granny would suggest to children that implanting metal and gears into their grandmother is ok and should be condoned
MX: despicable
MX: video games only serve to subvert children
47: Then how do you explain the video game habits of Old Grandma Hardcore, a 69 year old grandmother who is currently playing God of War on God Mode?
MX: easy. she is bad. a bad influence on younger generations.
47: Would it be out of line to say that you are bitter because your tastes and values are not held by these different generations?
MX: bitter is not the right word. use the word “correct” instead
MX: this generations ethics are wrong
47: Ethics do not come into it. Crime is constantly going down. Video games may actually be helping with this drop in criminal activity.
MX: but that doesn’t excuse the fact that we are raising a generation on violence and… gasp… sexual content!
MX: whether they act on those impulses or not, they are being trained to like them
MX: like them!!!
47: Sexual content is a taboo brought upon by the church to control the masses. It’s censorship that should have died on the cross with Christ.
MX: sexual taboo is a healthy way to keep children from being promiscuous
47: Then parents can do their job and keep their children away from items they feel are distasteful.
MX: which is what video games teach kids
MX: todays parents cant control everything a child sees. especially when they are too busy complaining about violent video games
MX:
MX: oops
47: Ah HA!
47: Gotcha, you crotchety bastard. Get back into your coffin of old ideals and sleep forever.
MX: bleh! you have not won yet mortal!


Filed under: A 47 Danger and Humor and Maxim
Comments: 1 Comment

Sans 360:Day 17
Posted on 12.08.05 by A 47 Danger @ 2:33 pm

Xbox 360

I’m getting mighty tired of doing these Xbox 360 updates because there is never anything to report. I’m also running out of things to complain about.

I can always complain about having to complain. Which will only lead to more complaining. That’s an endless cycle that couldn’t even be broken by the arrival of an Xbox 360. So let us pass on that option.

The best option I see is to make a witty anagram for the Xbox 360. Okay, here we go.

B30xox6.

Xob 3X06.

Xbox 360(I switched the Xs around).

Huh, I guess I’m not that witty. Damn you, Xbox 360. You have bested me with your obtuse name!


Filed under: A 47 Danger and Rant and Xbox 360
Comments: None

« newer posts previous posts »

Main Menu
Home
Bloggers
A 47 Danger
Beuks
ClackyJ
Maxim
skintari
sparklepony
Tommel
Discussion
Game Systems
Classic
GameCube
GBA
GBM
Nintendo DS
PC
PS2
PS3
PSP
Wii
Xbox
Xbox 360
General
Humor
IM
Interview
Preview
Quip
Rant
Review

Features
Multiplayer

Archives
March 2008
January 2008
December 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005

Credo
Way I Play
Writers
A 47 Danger
beuks
ClackyJ
Maxim
Tommel
Contact
Email

Search


Syndication
RSS 2.0
Comments RSS 2.0
WordPress


Forbes Best of the Web

Recent Entries
  • A world of intergalactic, soft-core porn
  • I like fish, do you?
  • It’s an Adult Swim!
  • What have I played lately
  • In Other News
  • Mass Effect is the Cause of My Affectation
  • Welcome to the BIGS!
  • This one should have been left in the “other” world
  • Halo 3
  • Skate or Die!


  • Credits and Copyright
    Proudly powered by WordPress. All content © 2005 Aric McKeown