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Posted on 07.11.07 by A 47 Danger @ 11:05 am
Nintendo may be run by vampires, as conference attendees must turn off the lights on their cell phones. According to, “everyone is a gamer.” I think Jack Thompson just had an aneurysm. There is a lot of talk about reaching the untapped market of people who don’t play games. Older gamers. Female players. Prairie dogs. More numbers. We know you have a good product, Nintendo. Show us your software, not your percentages. I’m not buying your stock. “Nintendo is not a fad. Nintendo is the future.” Nintendo is not a dragon. Nintendo is a ham sandwich. Reggie is showing us the Wii Zapper. It is a template for the Wii Remote and Wii Nunchuck. Arcade shooters finally come to the home console! Again. Oh Reggie, don’t say “maximize penetration.” Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games is, in fact, exactly what it sounds like. I think they’re both doping. Smash Bros. Brawl will launch on December 3rd. There is some straight news for you. Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass will be entirely touch on the DS. Color me interested!* The Wii Remote looks to work fantastically with the first-person Metroid Prime 3. Not only will you aim with the remote, but you will activate options with gestures. Think Black & White, but not horribly disappointing in every way. Check Mii Out will be a new channel where you can vote on your Wii Miis. America does love voting for things that aren’t presidents. Nintendo claims to be serious about online play. Again. Mario Kart Wii is the proof in the pudding, apparently. You will be able to play Mario Kart Wii with the Wii Wheel. Or, as I will call it from now on, the Wiil. Good, I needed another montage about how much people love Nintendo. Saturo Iwata, Nintendo’s worldwide president, has taken the stage. Paradigm shift this. Cookbook on DS that. Okay, okay. You want the Wii and DS to be for everybody! But what does that matter to me? I’m already a gamer. All of this means nothing to me aside finally getting my wife interested in something besides Viva Pinata. I sure could go for another montage…hooray! They read my mind! Brain Age 2 comes out August 20th. Super Mario Galaxy on November 12th. High School Musical is coming out for the Wii and DS. So, you know, if you have brain damage, you’re good to go. We’re in for a ton of different brain training games. Including My Life Coach. Hold on, no time to make a witty comment. There is another fan montage that needs watching. WiiFit takes the tricking you into exercising of WiiSports and removes the facade of fun. Shigeru Miyamoto came out to tell us we should be really interested in WiiFit. His sentiments are not matched by me or the crowd. Or the universe. The universe has no interest in this “big” announcement, Miyamoto. The Wii Balanceboard controller is what makes WiiFit possible. That, and misplaced enthusiasm. This wasn’t a very good conference. I am disappointed. Lots of telling me things I SHOULD be interested in but am NOT interested in. Sorry, it wasn’t the end. There was one more lame montage. Now it’s over. * interested is a reddish purple Filed under: A 47 Danger and Nintendo DS and Wii Comments: None |
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Posted on 07.10.07 by A 47 Danger @ 10:48 pm
Peter Moore is tone deaf, and probably sings loudly in the car by himself. Viva Pinata is being brought back in a terrible party game form. Mass Effect comes out this November. That’s one of those months that ends in “ember.” The thirst one. We’ve spent billions of dollars on our Xbox 360s. I wonder if that was before or after the Ring of Death repair refunds. Haven’t been excited about any games I wasn’t aware of. Assassin’s Creed, Rock Band, Bioshock, and some smaller games. SceneIt?, the board game, coming to Xbox Live? It comes with a new controller style. A controller with a big red button. You know, in case you can only play games by using your nose. It always knows. Somehow, I have been tricked into watching a PowerPoint presentation. Hey, it’s Reggie Bush! From the New Orleans Saints! That’s what the gamers want! The crowd is really impressed, as you can tell by my sarcasm. The Xbox Live presentation is boring me. 7 million members. Oooh, and he mentioned Pac-Man: Championship Edition. Bad call, dude. Oooh. Hexic 2 is coming. I think I’m the only person who played the first one. But, hooray for me. OMG Golden Axe OMG! What’s more, Golden Axe is available tonight! Quit playing it on your Dreamcast or Wii and start playing it on XBLA! Disney movies on Xbox Live? Right now? I’ll start ignoring those movies right away! PGR4 will have motorbikes and weather effects. I will remember this as the moment all of my dreams finally came true! Lost Odyssey doesn’t look bad. In fact, I find it hard to say bad things about it. Hold on, the dialogue is cheesy. There you go! Thought I was loosing my touch for a second. Wait, there is a Games for Windows section? Viva Pinata and Gears of War are coming to Games for Windows. So for the two people out there who like playing Xbox 360 games much later and on PC, there you go. Call of Duty 4 looks pretty good. Then again, it is another war shooter. A MODERN war shooter. From the distant future of today! Hey, thanks for showing us the Grand Theft Auto 4 trailer again. We haven’t seen that a million times before. Resident Evil 5? I didn’t know about that! While Assassin’s Creed still looks great, it still looks the same as it did a year ago. But the AI looks great! In a group of enemies, only one will attack at a time! Brilliant! There is a Halo themed console? Come on now. Haven’t we learned that this doesn’t work yet? I’m not going to sell my white console for a green console. At least the Halo 3 preview was neat. And that’s it. Go to sleep. Filed under: A 47 Danger and General and Xbox 360 Comments: 2 Comments |
Posted on 06.22.07 by A 47 Danger @ 2:04 pm
 I give up. Not only am I a video game geek, but I’m a geek geek. There is no hiding it any more. More specifically, I’ve become a Halo geek. Sure, I’ve played Halo my fair share of Halo 2. Who hasn’t? But it has gone beyond that. The first nail in the glass coffin was the Halo 3 ARG that just started. The “alternate reality game” is a long and involved community game that will bring players deeper in the Halo story through interaction. Fine, that’s still in the realm of games. Video games, at that. That doesn’t bring my geek factor up to radioactive levels. Oh, but what’s this on my credit card statement? It looks like someone who is me purchased a copy of The Fall Of Reach, the first Halo novel. Should I say that again? Halo novel. And what’s worse? I’m enjoying it. Instead of watching TV while sipping the remaining milk from my breakfast bowl, I’m reading The Fall Of Reach. It’s the great depression of my coolness stock market. If you purchased shares in my hip and with-it-ness, you are now bankrupt. I apologize. But, as long as we’re here, anyone want to talk Halo? Anybody? Echo? Filed under: A 47 Danger and General and Xbox 360 Comments: 4 Comments |
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Posted on 05.31.07 by A 47 Danger @ 8:15 am
I will always wait for game reviews before I buy games. With $60 at stake, it would be foolish to rush into purchases. With that being said, where the hell are the Shadowrun reviews? The videos for the game have looked fun, but you can’t base purchases on the pretty pretty press. Give me something! Someone! Metacritics? You haven’t found anything either? Filed under: A 47 Danger and Rant and Xbox 360 Comments: None |
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Posted on 05.25.07 by A 47 Danger @ 8:05 am
A few months back, my Xbox 360 gave me the dreaded ring of death. The counsel, which has not been moved from my entertainment center since I got it, decided to pass away with no warning. Being an early adapter, I was out of the recently extended warranty. Repairs costs, from the horse’s mouth, would be $140. There had to be another way! Periodically, I would turn the 360 on, hoping that elves had snuck into my home at night and fixed it much like they cobble the shoes of tired old men. They did not. Lousy elves. I believed really hard in you! Doesn’t that make you real? Next, being skeptical yet desperate, I wrapped my 360 in towels as so many on the internet have promoted. Aside from whetting my appetite for the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the towels did nothing. I was out of easy options. The paths left to me were a huge repair bill or actually opening up the concave white box. Being opposed to bills of any sort, it was time to pry the sucker open. Under the watchful eye of Skintari, expert PC messer-arounder-inner, we opened the Xbox 360 in a couple simple steps. Part of that sentence was a lie. There is nothing simple about opening up a 360. Hidden latches and screws are your twists and turns in the maze to the heat sinks you wish to remove. After a billion steps, the motherboard can finally be revealed. But before you can remove the heat sinks, you have one last bit of peril. The design flaw. The “X” clamps that must be pried off with brute force and patience. It has taken you a minute or two to read this far, but you’ll spend about an hour and a half getting to this point in the repair process. Our arms were tired, but we continued forward. Heat sinks and chips cleaned with Q-tips and alcohol. Arctic Silver 5 applied to said chips. Flawed “X” clamps replaced with $3 worth of hardware from Lowes. That was all the tinkering we needed. Replacing some stupid clamps that were putting too much stress on the motherboard. It was time to put the motherboard back into the Xbox 360 and overheat the system so it could solder some items in place. Skintari and I plugged everything in, and started the system up. And just like that, there was joy in the air. The red lights had already been fixed. A rainbow made entirely of green lights pierced our eyes like the noon day sun peeking out from behind a cloud. No overheating was needed. Patience and $15 in materials fixed what Microsoft had messed up. The instructions used for this fix can be found RIGHT HERE. Of course, you should only do this if your 360 is broken, obviously, and if you are out of warranty. This fix might not work for everyone who is experiencing the three red lights, but it worked like magic for me. Welcome back, Xbox 360! I must make up for wasted Halo 3 beta time.
Filed under: A 47 Danger and Xbox 360 Comments: None |
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