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Posted on 12.05.05 by Maxim @ 11:38 pm
Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War vs. Star Wars Republic Commando In Dawn of War, you are racing and racing to get this nasty artifact and destroy it, thus preventing the forces of chaos from ruling the universe. Once you destroy it, it releases the very demon you were trying to destroy. The demon taunts you, then floats away. This is the ending if the game. In Republic Commando, you and 3 of your squadmates run around shooting shit, throwing grenades at shit, and doing various other team-oriented shit. In the final level, you have to split up in order to complete your mission. You do your thing, and then your superiors tell you it’s time to get off this planet ASAP. Over your radio you hear one of your buddies is in trouble and can’t be extracted. You and your 2 other buds take off in your evac plane talking about how you can’t leave your friend behind. This is the ending of the game. Which wins? They both suck ass. Please feel free to add your own bad ending experiences in the comments below. Filed under: Maxim and PC and Rant and Xbox Comments: 6 Comments |
Posted on 12.05.05 by A 47 Danger @ 7:35 am
 With the arrival of December, it’s time for video game publishers to put their best foot forward. It is necessary to make a good showing to rake in those holiday sales. Tri Synergy, Inc. seems to be marching to the beat of their own drum. Which is all well and good. Take the road less traveled, says I. Unless you’re going to make Around the World in 80 Days into a video game. That would be a stupid thing to do. Some tales stand the test of time. Traveling around the world in two and a half months is not one of those tales. You see, we have jet airplanes now. Globetrotting has become much easier. But if you really want to traverse the world in the game 80 Days, here is what you have to look forward to.
Strange Germans? Elephant winnings? Maybe I’m all wrong about this game. Oh, no, wait. I’m right about this game. 80 Days is predicted to be the worst game of the week. You heard it here first. For those of you 40 days away on the other side of the world, I hope you didn’t already rush out and purchase 80 Days. Delivery by camel certainly should be faster. Someday there will be a way to get these reviews to you in less than 40 days. We can dream, can’t we? Filed under: A 47 Danger and PC and Rant Comments: None |
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Posted on 11.28.05 by A 47 Danger @ 1:45 pm
There is a lovely little article over at The Detroit News (yes yes, it’s a very unoriginal name for a newspaper, let’s get past it) titled Just what we need: Video games link Detroit, gang crime. The first thing that comes to mind is more “video games cause crime” gum flapping. A little Jack Thompson style video game bashing. That is not what the article is about. It’s a little more absurd than that. We’ll take this step by step, so I don’t loose you. This quote comes early in the article. Apparently, Detroit is a terrible city.
Eeee, yuck. I knew Detroit was a dirty stinky hell hole. I didn’t know there was so much danger there. Anyway, nothing about video games yet. Maybe later on. Oh, here’s something.
Okay, I see what that has to do with Detroit. Not that the “German arm of a Japanese company called Konami” sentence wasn’t confusing. The game features D12 from Detroit. Cultural to Detroit. Let’s read on.
Ummmmm. So the violence that you’re admitting exists in Detroit is being touted in a video game that doesn’t take place in Detroit? Even if the video game took place in a city called Detroit you couldn’t get angry, because you live in an admittedly terrible city! What the hell kind of article is this?
Phhhhht, Detroit Institute of Arts? Screw that business. I’ll pack up and leave town, thank you very much. Take your hypocritical opinion and shove it, The Detroit News. And get a better name for your newspaper. Heck, spell “news” with a “z.” Anything! Filed under: A 47 Danger and GameCube and PC and PS2 and Rant and Xbox Comments: None |
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Posted on 11.17.05 by A 47 Danger @ 9:45 am
The generally consensus is that The Matrix Online is boring and not any fun. Not any more, my friends. Check out this hot news!
Hot damn, in-game advertising? Sign me up! Now I can play a terrible game for a monthly fee and keep up to date on when the new Shakira album is coming out! Talk about value added service! If you don’t sign up for The Matrix Online right now, you hate America. Why do you hate America? Filed under: A 47 Danger and PC and Rant Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 11.17.05 by A 47 Danger @ 8:30 am
You can find video games in the strangest places sometimes. For example, AOL just added two robo-buddies to my AIM without asking me. Since they’re my buddies, they certainly must be interested in a casual conversation.
Needless to say, I was a little steamed. I decided to take some time to collect my thought, and try to communicate my feelings.
Filed under: A 47 Danger and Humor and PC Comments: 3 Comments |
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