fixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixit fixitfixitfixit
Posted on 05.25.07 by A 47 Danger @ 8:05 am

A few months back, my Xbox 360 gave me the dreaded ring of death. The counsel, which has not been moved from my entertainment center since I got it, decided to pass away with no warning. Being an early adapter, I was out of the recently extended warranty. Repairs costs, from the horse’s mouth, would be $140. There had to be another way!

Periodically, I would turn the 360 on, hoping that elves had snuck into my home at night and fixed it much like they cobble the shoes of tired old men. They did not. Lousy elves. I believed really hard in you! Doesn’t that make you real?

Next, being skeptical yet desperate, I wrapped my 360 in towels as so many on the internet have promoted. Aside from whetting my appetite for the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the towels did nothing.

I was out of easy options. The paths left to me were a huge repair bill or actually opening up the concave white box. Being opposed to bills of any sort, it was time to pry the sucker open.

Under the watchful eye of Skintari, expert PC messer-arounder-inner, we opened the Xbox 360 in a couple simple steps.

Part of that sentence was a lie. There is nothing simple about opening up a 360. Hidden latches and screws are your twists and turns in the maze to the heat sinks you wish to remove.

After a billion steps, the motherboard can finally be revealed. But before you can remove the heat sinks, you have one last bit of peril. The design flaw. The “X” clamps that must be pried off with brute force and patience.

It has taken you a minute or two to read this far, but you’ll spend about an hour and a half getting to this point in the repair process.

Our arms were tired, but we continued forward. Heat sinks and chips cleaned with Q-tips and alcohol. Arctic Silver 5 applied to said chips. Flawed “X” clamps replaced with $3 worth of hardware from Lowes.

That was all the tinkering we needed. Replacing some stupid clamps that were putting too much stress on the motherboard.

It was time to put the motherboard back into the Xbox 360 and overheat the system so it could solder some items in place.

Skintari and I plugged everything in, and started the system up. And just like that, there was joy in the air. The red lights had already been fixed. A rainbow made entirely of green lights pierced our eyes like the noon day sun peeking out from behind a cloud.

No overheating was needed. Patience and $15 in materials fixed what Microsoft had messed up.

The instructions used for this fix can be found RIGHT HERE. Of course, you should only do this if your 360 is broken, obviously, and if you are out of warranty. This fix might not work for everyone who is experiencing the three red lights, but it worked like magic for me.

Welcome back, Xbox 360! I must make up for wasted Halo 3 beta time.

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Filed under: A 47 Danger and Xbox 360
Comments: None

Animal Dismemberment Simulator Coming Soon
Posted on 05.11.07 by A 47 Danger @ 7:43 am

The Happy Tree Friends are coming to a game system near you this fall. Or, rather, a PC or Xbox 360 near you. In a game. Now push all those sentences together and you’ll understand what I meant.

This ultra violent video game that is sure to delight many internet fans will be called Happy Tree Friends False Alarm. And as fun as I hope it is, there’s nothing quite like nitpicking a press release. So let us continue in that manner.

Disaster levels made exclusively for Happy Tree Friends False Alarm: SEGA and the creative minds behind Happy Tree Friends have teamed up to create 10 original and engaging disaster scenarios such as the Mine Shaft, Candy Factory, and Museum.

Thank goodness they won’t be reusing those disaster levels from those other games with disaster levels. These will be exclusive. And engaging.

Gameplay true to the franchise: Experience the non-stop hilarious action Happy Tree Friends-style where their accident prone universe means destruction and mayhem are inevitable.

If the hilarity stops for one split second, they have a lawsuit on their hands. Oddly enough, even in our non-accident prone universe, destruction and mayhem are inevitable.

Okay, nothing more to make fun of. The game will use some sort of physics engine and, hopefully, the game play won’t suffer. I don’t wish the failure of videos games. I am always hopeful. Here is hoping for a quality Happy Tree Friends release!


Filed under: A 47 Danger and General and PC and Xbox 360
Comments: 1 Comment

Articles by IM
Posted on 05.10.07 by A 47 Danger @ 9:31 am

Maxim: whats your fav game of the year?
A 47 Danger: Gears of War.
Maxim: there.. we just wrote an article


Filed under: A 47 Danger and IM and Maxim and Xbox 360
Comments: None

Bullet what?
Posted on 05.09.07 by skintari @ 12:11 pm

Bullet Witch! Here’s a game that was originally developed as a japanese game and recently ported to the U.S. The premise is you (a witch), with a gun that is just a tad bigger than your entire body, must defeat throngs of undead soldiers. Obviously, you can use your gun to kill them, or you can use “magic”. The reason I put magic in quotes is that it’s not like fireballs or lasers that you can shoot from your hands, it’s magic that you can use to push a car into a bad guy, or heal people, or put a wall in front of you to stop incoming bullets.

While not entirely helpful, there are basic points that you have to use your magic. For instance, when  you battle the tanks in the first level, you have the ability to rain down lightning. One aspect about this is when you go to your magic screen and select the lightning, you end up mysteriously moving backwards to actually use it. It took me about 4 tries before I was able to lock on to the tank as it kept putting me out of range.

Another downfall of this game is the enemy. The AI was stupid. That’s to say it nicely. They also tend to blend in with the background. What was nice during the game was that since I couldn’t see the enemies all the time, they would give themselves away by shooting directly into the ground. Thanks, bad guys! Another reason why it was hard to see the enemy was because the surroundings would always tend to be in your way. When running along a line of bushes, there should be no reason why you can’t see through them. I can’t tell you how many times I ran along a path of foliage only to turn a corner and run into an enemy either shooting into the ground or standing there as dumbfounded as I am.

Which leads me to my final point. The gun itself is slow and awkward. The aiming has to be directly on the enemy to inflict any damage, which, in itself, is difficult because the controls seem to move at different speeds. There are 2 aiming mechanisms. The first is traditional 3rd person and the second is a 1st person view. I found myself constantly “left-clicking” between the two, as it was hard to maneuver around the screen with one set viewpoint. Not to mention the enemies that would randomly pop up next to you during gameplay.

One last quick add is that there is no true jump. When trying to get over a car, ledge, random obstruction, you hit the left trigger to do some aerobic spinning and twisting before you actually go airborn. If I wanted my character to do that much exercise, I would have rented DDR.

Now, I know this is pretty negative for my first review, but there are some pluses for this game. You definitely don’t have to think too much and you can’t get lost as you’re on a set game path. Additionally, the lead character is easy on the eyes! But all that can’t take away from the poor quality of the game itself. This is one game that feels rushed and poorly put together. That’s a shame, cause the idea is pretty kickass.

My vote for this game is 2/5. Could be so much more if it spent a little more time in development tho.


Filed under: Review and Xbox 360 and skintari
Comments: None

The Xmas 360 Story: Bringing the Newborn Home
Posted on 12.28.05 by A 47 Danger @ 2:47 pm

Xbox 360

I arrived home safely with my Xbox 360 and my wits about me. I’m always greatly concerned that I’ll die on the way home, when I’m really excited about something. Is that weird?

At any rate, I make it home without being mugged for my Xbox 360. Probably because it was hidden under my bulky coat. If someone had broken into my car, they certainly wouldn’t have looked there. After all, it’s just a coat sitting there, right? There couldn’t possibly be anything under it.

Where am I now, inside the house? Yeah, I made it inside my house without incident. No slipping on the constant layer of Minnesota ice. No snowballs thrown at my head from traveling packs of teenagers. I unlocked the door and stepped safely into my abode.

Step number one was as follows, feed that cats. This must be done to assure a distraction free setup. For further assurance, I made sure the canned food had lots of gravy. They like gravy.

Okay, step one was complete. Step two, to open the box with care. Do not tear the cardboard. Hey, that was easy. The box was still in mint condition. Maybe I should sell the empty box on eBay. That would guarantee me a place in hell.

Step three, unpack the box. Unit, check. It didn’t look as impressive as I imagined. Maybe I needed a little plastic bubble to put it in, like at the Best Buy display. Cords, check. Lots of things to hook up. Instructions, check. Into the garbage with you, instructions. Power supply, holy hell. I thought people were exaggerating. This thing is as big as my shoe.

Step four, register the Xbox 360 online with my gamer tag. There, everyone could now see that I was in possession of an Xbox 360.

My fiance wouldn’t be home for another half hour. That would be more than enough time to set up the system and play around a little.

And then the doorbell rang. Dang it all.


Filed under: A 47 Danger and General and Xbox 360
Comments: None

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