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Posted on 12.05.05 by Maxim @ 11:38 pm
Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War vs. Star Wars Republic Commando In Dawn of War, you are racing and racing to get this nasty artifact and destroy it, thus preventing the forces of chaos from ruling the universe. Once you destroy it, it releases the very demon you were trying to destroy. The demon taunts you, then floats away. This is the ending if the game. In Republic Commando, you and 3 of your squadmates run around shooting shit, throwing grenades at shit, and doing various other team-oriented shit. In the final level, you have to split up in order to complete your mission. You do your thing, and then your superiors tell you it’s time to get off this planet ASAP. Over your radio you hear one of your buddies is in trouble and can’t be extracted. You and your 2 other buds take off in your evac plane talking about how you can’t leave your friend behind. This is the ending of the game. Which wins? They both suck ass. Please feel free to add your own bad ending experiences in the comments below. Filed under: Maxim and PC and Rant and Xbox Comments: 6 Comments |
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Posted on 12.02.05 by Maxim @ 4:46 pm
Enter “The Matrix: Path of Neo” (not “Enter the Matrix”… don’t get all confused) I hate this game. I’ve seen reviews from respected establishments giving this game scores like 7 or 8 out of 10. This leads me to believe that either they are crazy, or I have no idea how to play it. It seems likely that I am missing some vital set of instructions, much like my first foray into the Final Fantasy world. Basically, the first time I played Final Fantasy, I did not understand the concept of “equipping” weapons. I bought them, they showed up in the inventory, I figured my guys would then use them. They didn’t. I was getting killed fighting the lowliest of imps. I thought the game sucked ass. Then I learned how to equip items, and the game got a whole lot better. Perhaps this same situation is repeating itself. Maybe I just don’t know how to play Path of Neo. Am I missing a crucial button combo? Some stick angle? Have I not equipped the short sword? Someone knows something I don’t. That, or everyone but me is crazy. Filed under: General and Maxim and Review and Xbox Comments: 1 Comment |
I love The Matrix. I love it so much. I love it like an abused spouse loves their abusive partner. I’ve allowed The Matrix to kick me in the balls on several occasions, and keep coming back for more.|
Posted on 11.28.05 by A 47 Danger @ 1:45 pm
There is a lovely little article over at The Detroit News (yes yes, it’s a very unoriginal name for a newspaper, let’s get past it) titled Just what we need: Video games link Detroit, gang crime. The first thing that comes to mind is more “video games cause crime” gum flapping. A little Jack Thompson style video game bashing. That is not what the article is about. It’s a little more absurd than that. We’ll take this step by step, so I don’t loose you. This quote comes early in the article. Apparently, Detroit is a terrible city.
Eeee, yuck. I knew Detroit was a dirty stinky hell hole. I didn’t know there was so much danger there. Anyway, nothing about video games yet. Maybe later on. Oh, here’s something.
Okay, I see what that has to do with Detroit. Not that the “German arm of a Japanese company called Konami” sentence wasn’t confusing. The game features D12 from Detroit. Cultural to Detroit. Let’s read on.
Ummmmm. So the violence that you’re admitting exists in Detroit is being touted in a video game that doesn’t take place in Detroit? Even if the video game took place in a city called Detroit you couldn’t get angry, because you live in an admittedly terrible city! What the hell kind of article is this?
Phhhhht, Detroit Institute of Arts? Screw that business. I’ll pack up and leave town, thank you very much. Take your hypocritical opinion and shove it, The Detroit News. And get a better name for your newspaper. Heck, spell “news” with a “z.” Anything! Filed under: A 47 Danger and GameCube and PC and PS2 and Rant and Xbox Comments: None |
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Posted on 11.15.05 by A 47 Danger @ 1:10 pm
Groggy in the morning? Need a little hair on your chest to start the day? Why not pour yourself a bowl of Kellogg’s Peter Jackson’s King Kong: The Official Cereal of the Game of the Movie? It contains all the essential vitamins and minerals to grow up big and strong. Just like Peter Jackson. I mean, King Kong. Big and strong like King Kong. So treat yourself today! Filed under: A 47 Danger and Humor and PS2 and Xbox and Xbox 360 Comments: 2 Comments |
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Posted on 11.07.05 by Maxim @ 1:35 pm
I’m sad to say, but Stubbs the Zombie just isn’t very much fun. Mad props to Alex Seropian and his team for working on a conceptually awesome game, but in the end, it just didn’t pan out. If I had to describe the game in 2 words that had a hyphen in between, I would say: “Half-assed”. I’m not exactly sure what the story is about, or what has happened so far in the story, and why I should care. I’m not getting the scariness of zombie movies, or the awesome action of the Halo engine it’s using. It’s a lot of the same thing over and over with very little variation. The graphics are ok at best, and the levels make little sense. Also, there is a rhythm game section. A RHYTHM GAME! Fuck that. I like rhythm games, but keep that shit out of my zombie games. You don’t put a Snickers bar in an enchilada either, do you? Trust me, I can be very forgiving when it comes to sucky games (see my secret shame: Enter the Matrix), and I had nothing but stars in my eyes when I bought this game, but man oh man. In true Way I Play fashion, I stopped playing when I lost interest. That’s what the average gamer does, and that’s what we do. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go play through Shadow of the Colossus… again. Filed under: Maxim and Review and Xbox Comments: None |
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