I’m old school. My last major gaming system (apart from a PC) was the Atari 2600. So stepping into a PS2 this year was whole new experience for me. And not always a good one. Let’s review:

The Hardware
After almost two months of getting caught up in the 2004 Christmas drought of PStwo’s, I finally got my hands on one in January, thanks to beuks. I bought an additional wireless controller, and a headset for all that fancy online play I heard so much about.
Pleasant surprise: Dang, this thing is portable. My dog has fetched bigger things.
Sad disappointment: That fancy online play… really not so fancy. In fact, the PS2 decentralized approach of every-vendor-for-himself makes online gaming cumbersome and confusing. Somebody introduce these guys to communism, Sony’s product needs a good Politburo.

The Games
I got 21 games over the course of this past year. As an old school gamer, I like things simple. Remember, I cut my teeth on Defender and Bubble Bobble. Don’t make me learn sixteen-key combos or force me to watch twenty minutes of cutscenes. I want to dive in, play, and get out.

So in general, I’m a fan of shooters. Unfortunately I think the thumbstick controller may be the single worst interface for shooters ever invented. Yes, I’d rather take the stiff plastic joysticks of my 2600 and shoot blocky pink alien ships in Starmaster than try to plink off headshots with a thumbstick.

This has forced me to diversify. Let’s take a look at the games I got, in alphabetical order:

Burnout 2: Point of Impact
My copy is open, but I honestly do not ever remember playing it. I think I’ve only played it at ClackyJ’s house. This is, however, one of the games that prompted me to buy a PStwo. Get four friends around a couch with a case of beer and spend the whole afternoon drinking, driving, and causing miiiiilllions of dollars in damage. So fun.
Hours of Play: 10-20 at ClackyJ’s, zero at my place because Burnout 3 came out at the same time I got my PStwo.

Burnout 3 Takedown
I have a love/hate relationship with the Burnout series. This game is my lover. I soaked many, many weekend nights into trying to finish this game. Alas, like a fickle mistress, she would not be satisfied. Just when I thought I had quenched the fires of her Burning Lap, she demanded an even longer session with the Grand Prix.

Ultimately, I could not perform. So I cheated on her with:

Burnout Revenge
Man, if there’s one thing you should learn from this metaphor, it’s that you don’t break up with someone and go out with her sister. Burnout Revenge is a bitch. Yeah, she’s sexier, but she’s also finnickier and more demanding.
Hours of Play: I bet I have nearly 100 hours logged on both of these games. I could rant about how much of that time was wasted trying to get a gold in the various Burning Lap events, but I prefer to remember the good times: Burnout and I decided to stay friends when we broke up, and you never know when you have to put in a booty call.

Graffiti Kingdom
I bought this game because it has some of the charm of Katamari Damarcy and the custom character creation looked cool. Unfortunately, I’ll never know because my soul left my body, flew across the room, and strangled my interest in the game during the bloated cutscenes that kick the thing off.
Hours of Play: 1.5 — 30 minutes of play and one hour of setup and cutscenes. (Worst part is we played this on ClackyJ’s machine so now my PS2 has to run through all that crap if I ever decide to give it another chance.)

Hunter The Reckoning Wayward
This was only, like, seven bucks. Too bad it’s still, like, in the shrink wrap. If I’m smart, I’ll try to pawn this off on Best Buy as a Christmas return for in-store credit and get We Love Katamari.
Hours of Play: Ummm… do I get to count the time spent standing in the store reading the box?

ICO
To my shame, this is another game that has sat in the box for a long time. Given how cool Shadow of the Colossus is, I’m going to have to crack this open soon.
Hours of Play: 3,159. I time-travelled back from 2094 to tell my present self what an awesome game this was and how I would immediately start playing it endlessly for the next 80 years. My present self doesn’t listen much and instead scolds the mole-covered centenarian future me for not travelling back to 1939 and assassinating Hitler. My future self points out that then we wouldn’t have Castle Wolfenstein and I have to admit, he’s got me there.

Man, am I smart in 100 years.

Katamari Damacy
I have not played this game as much as the other WiPers (look, I coined a phrase) but it is enjoyable and charming in a mind-bogglingly bizarre way. The game play is simple, I like that. The premise is one absolute non-sequitur, which is fun, and the King of All Cosmos is a total bastard. Leave it to the Japanese to come up with a hit game featuring a cartoon character with a giant package who scolds you at every opportunity. And you like it.
Hours of Play: 6. Yeah, it’s pitifully low. I’d rather just play a game instead of worrying about collecting things or completing levels. This game deserves more attention, but part of me just says “Oh, okay. I get it.” And part of me is just not that good at maneuvering that damn stickyball around the room.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Now, like I said earlier: I hate learning combos and I dislike fighters in general. (That’s small-’f’ fighters. If you’re a 10th level Fighter, gimme a call and I’ll kick your ass with my horde of goblin sorceror-assassins.) But this game is a) not too tough to learn and b) very pretty. You can basically whack your way through the throngs of enemies that threaten Middle Earth without mastering a huge catalog of moves. And it’s not one of those over-the-top RPGs where you have to manage 200 different inventory items. You pick some abilities when you level and then keep on cleaving orcs.

On the other hand, I couldn’t get my brother too enthused about it because in the end it was too much “triangle. triangle. triangle. move left. triangle. triangle. triangle.”
Hours of Play: 25. This was one of the first three games I bought, so I played it pretty relentlessly. I’m not a 17-year-old girl, but Legolas still kicks ass.

Midway Arcade Treasures 1
Did I mention I cut my teeth on Defender? Playing this I realized that the big allure of early video games was basically the stamina factor: how long could you play on one quarter. Well, in the Midway collection, you have unlimited quarters. Take away the financial limitation and you quickly realize how repetitive and one-dimensional the game design is.
Hours of Play: 2. Although, I may not have learned anything from this experience because every time I walk into Best Buy I pick up a copy of Taito Legends Collection and gaze longingly at the picture for Bubble Bobble. But you can’t hang around Godfather’s Pizza your whole life, now can you?

Hey, we’re halfway done. You go get a soda and I’ll meet you back here tomorrow with my wrap-up of games N through X.