Exclusive Xbox 360 Hands On!
Posted on 11.15.05 by Maxim @ 8:44 pm

boy nels

I’ve played it. That’s right folks. I’ve actually played it.

OH MY GOD HES ACTUALLY PLAYED IT! HES SO DREAMY! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Ok. Now that my bodyguard has restrained all of you and my clothes have been sufficiently torn at, I can tell you what it’s like.

HES ACTUALLY GOING TO TELL US WHAT ITS LIKE TO PLAY XBOX 360!! YOU CANT GET ONE OF THOSE YET!!!! HES SOOOOO SEXY!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Hey! Someone’s going to get hurt here! Everyone just settle down… you’re causing people to get trampled! If you just calm down, I can tell you that the graphics are really really good and-

THE GRAPHICS ARE REALLY REALLY GOOD!!! GET HIM! GET HIM AT ALL COSTS!! I HAVE TO TOUCH HIM!! I HAVE TO!!! GET OUT OF MY WAY!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Help! Get off me! Stop grabbing at me! Let me finish my thought about how the games look really really good, and that’s about it! It’s just an Xbox with better graphics!

I DON’T CARE WHAT HAPPENS, I AND EVERYONE ELSE HERE MUST HAVE A PIECE OF HIM AS A SOUVENEIR!!! GIMME!!! GIMME!!! GIMMEE!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Fact or Fiction?


Filed under: Humor and Maxim and Preview and Xbox 360
Comments: 1 Comment

The Movies is fun and flawed
Posted on 11.15.05 by A 47 Danger @ 10:44 am

The Movies

The Movies is a fun game with lots of flaws. The most recent game from Peter Molyneux and Lionhead Studios, who’s eyes are always bigger than their stomach, seems to succeed and fail in equal parts.

I started writing a review of this game yesterday, but then I threw it out. If found myself describing every nook and cranny of the game just so I could complain about it. As amusing as my barbs may be, you don’t need a novel to know that The Movies isn’t everything it wants to be.

The Movies is a movie studio tycoon game mixed with an actual movie making option. In the tycoon portion of the game, you make scripts, hire actors, research new filming techniques, and so on. It’s all a lot of micromanagment that gets old after a while. The difficulty level isn’t too steep either. While it takes a good 20 hours to finish the main mode, it’s not a taxing time. Easy breezy mixed with displeasure.

The movie making option allows you to select from a library of sets, situations, and moods. Sometimes. You see, the option is very limited. You may be carrying a briefcase in one scene, but if you want to have an argument in the next scene you can’t put a briefcase in your actor’s hand. You need a to use a briefcase situation for that. A briefcase situation?

So you select your scenes, your actors film it, and then you can edit the film down. You can even add your own voice and lip sync your characters. Your final film can then be submitted online for all to see. All the editing is very sloppy, buggy, and frustrating.

The game is fun to mess with. If you have the time to deal with the limitations of making your own movie and the creativity to get around the stumbling blocks, you can have yourself a good time. I would recommend it. I just wish it were a better game. That’s an odd situation to be in.


Filed under: A 47 Danger and PC and Preview
Comments: None

Bits and pieces of Stubbs
Posted on 10.18.05 by A 47 Danger @ 7:35 pm

Stubbs the ZombieGameStop has made me sad today. When asking about Stubbs the Zombie, I was met with blank looks. Perhaps these dense employees have had their brains eaten. It certainly seems possible.

Let’s take a look at why these game store employees should get a clue. What does this press release have to say?

When Stubbs kills an enemy, they become one of his zombie followers. These zombies will attack humans when possible and attempt to follow Stubbs in his crusade. Building and maintaining a horde of zombies is crucial to beating the game’s biggest encounters.

An army of zombie followers? If that doesn’t sound cool, then you are stupid. Put down that beer and pick up a book. But carefully pick up a book. You might hurt yourself, rummy.

Stubbs can detach his hand, throw it and control the hand as a separate character. The hand is faster than humans, can go places where Stubbs can’t fit, is expendable (so it can be sent into certain death), and can possess human characters.

After seeing a making of feature on The Addams Family movie, I spent a bit of time pretending my hand was Thing. Which it wasn’t. My hand is a poor actor. Thank you, video games, for letting me live out my fantasy.

Using his detached arm, Stubbs can possess human characters, giving him access to their weapons, speed, and other abilities.

Another fantastic game play mechanic. I’m hoping for a couple of City of Lost Children moments, where the horrified compatriot sees their own demise. But I’ll be satisfied with possession.

The rest of the little game play features look a little average. Fun, but average. Gut grenades and head bombs and the like. That’s okay. The entire game probably can’t be all super crazy.

Oh, and one more line of information.

Players can choose to play as Stubbs alone, or grab a friend named Grubbs for multiplayer co-op action.

Yes yes yes. More games need co-op. Co-op is a sorely missed feature in oh so many games. All other games, take note. It’s two syllables, not to large. Co-op. Bring it on.

The game should be out whenever GameStop gets off of their asses. Until then, iTunes has the wonderful soundtrack. Now go, my zombie armies. Purchase. Purchase.


Filed under: A 47 Danger and PC and Preview and Xbox
Comments: 2 Comments

Preview - Shadow of the Colossus
Posted on 08.30.05 by Maxim @ 12:17 pm

I got a chance to play a demo of this upcoming title from the makers of ICO, and I can sum it up in one made-up word: BLAZOW! If I had to use one real word to describe it, I’d use “epic”. The proportions of everything in this game can be described as epic, from the massive temple where you begin, to the titular colossi you must slay.

As mentioned, you start off in a cavernous stone temple, with some girl lying on a stone slab. I don’t remember who she is or why she’s sleeping, mostly because during the intro I was having my first Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, and was mesmerized by its smooth taste (endorsement. give us money now please). In this temple it’s just you, sleepy girl, and your trusty steed. You climb upon your steed and race out of the temple to a wide open landscape. You spur your horse and race across an open field, recalling moments from Ocarina of Time.

A cool atmospheric trick employed is the camera position when you are riding your horse. It’s not the typical 3rd person camera view, but more of a cinematic style that place you and the horse in the bottom right corner of the screen. It works well.

After racing across the plain you come to a sort of cliff, where you must abandon your horse and scale the obstacle. Shadow of the Colossus uses a neat “grip strength” meter to indicate your… well… grip strength. A pink circle appears whenever you are hanging by your hands. Slowly, the circle grows smaller, and when it’s gone, you fall. Anyway, you climb various ledges and make little jumps to get to the top of this cliff.

When you get there, an in-game cinematic takes over. Rumbling bass steps are heard, and a giant leg passes your point of view. You see a stone minotaur 10 stories high lumber past you. This is where things get cool.

Holding down the L1 button allows you to “gaze at the Colossus”. Basically, it just fixes the camera on the beast as you run around it. The resulting camera view is highly effective in conveying the sheer size of this thing compared to you.

You have both a sword and a bow and arrow as weapons, and let me tell you, there’s something satisfying about shooting a single arrow at a stone monster the size of a skyscraper, and shouting “I’ve slain the beast” in a nasally wimp tone.

Anyway, you run around the Colossus for a while wondering what to do, when you see a patch of fur on the back of his left leg (I’m assuming male gender here; bear with me). Getting close to his feet is a challenge in and of itself, as every step he takes smashes and buckles the stone ground, sending rubble (and sometimes you) flying through the air. As you make the leap onto the back of his calf, you grab on to the fur and hang on for dear life. The Colossus isn’t dumb. He knows something with a sword is trying to climb him, so he lifts his leg and tries to shake you off.

In most games while holding on to a moving colossus, your character model would either remain static or go to a default “hanging from something” animation that would simply loop until you were no longer hanging. In SotC, there’s a fluid, dynamic feel to the animation. Your character model will swing and scramble depending on how the surface he’s clinging to is moving.

After scrambling up the thigh of the beast, you can raise your sword and plunge it into its calf, causing a fountain of black Colossus blood to spray out like a tapped hydrant. You do this a few more times and it will bring the beast to its knees, giving you a small window of opportunity to climb the back of its thigh to a conveniently-placed balcony at the small of its back.

Keep in mind, that your “grip strength” bubble is decreasing the entire time you’re climbing this thing. It really adds a sense of urgency and desperation to your task.

As you climb its back fur to the top of the Colossus, birds start flying by giving you a true sense of how high in the air you really are. On the top of the beast’s head is its “weak spot” which you plunge your sword into, causing another fountain of blood. At this point, The Colossus is pissed enough to really start shaking you off. As you hold on for dear life, you stab its weak spot until it can take no more. The giant beast crashes to the ground like a collapsing silo, and you claim victory.

The sound is excellent, mixing the booming bass of the Colossus and the ambient sounds of nature. The visuals are also delightful, from the washed out colors, to the realistic blur effect that happens when you rotate the camera quickly. Game play is fun, fluid and intuitive. It looks like Shadow of the Colossus will follow in ICO’s footsteps nicely.


Filed under: Maxim and Preview
Comments: None


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